Gilly Segal (left) and Kimberly Jones (right) are co-authors of I’m not Dying With You tonight
During the past year, we have traveled together almost every month, talking about our co-authored young adult novel, which tells the story of two teenagers, one Black and one white, who survive the night together, when a riot erupts in your city. In fact, we have spent five years in the company of others, working on this book and talking about the civil unrest. And working together, we mean sitting side by side, in each of the other kitchens and coffee shops around Atlanta, putting words on the page that now appears that this week’s daily news feed.
March began the longest stretch of time in years that we’ve been separated. The COVID crisis has kept us from each other for months, the interruption of not only our workflow, but our friendship. That left us disconnected and isolated. The first time that we managed to find us since then it was this weekend in a protest demonstration. And that made us want to reflect on what has been successful about our association during all these years.
Despite being together is a hotel, is not a common place to smooth the rough edges of the tough conversations.
Our friendship has always been our North Star. On the writing. In the upbringing of the children. In life. We have led by the hand through the write ups and down, through romantic breakups, through the emotional slings and arrows of our children suffer, through the publication of the afflictions. And yes, through conversations about race relations in the united states.
Before this week, the question we were most frequently asked is “How to collaborate on this project?”
Honestly, that is the easiest and the most difficult to answer. We have collaborated by sitting side by side and have real, painful, honest conversations. We have created a space in our friendship to talk about race and privilege. Before we come to the substance of it, we talk about talking about race. During our discussion, a word of code soon emerged and became synonymous with this: I have a difficult question or comment to make, I’m coming from a place of love, but ignorance; I need help understanding. The code word is returned to the rest of the conversations in brave spaces that we have worked together. Painfully honest with ourselves and each other, and then we realized how the transfer of those conversations in the page.
Since we’re all about the painful honesty, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. We’ve had days in which I needed a break from each other, sometimes sent us a message not to call me until the next week, I need space. But through all of our most awkward moments, togetherness pulled us through.
But please, do not misunderstand. The union is not a marketing slogan. Despite being together is a hotel, is not a common place to smooth the rough edges of the tough conversations. It is a form of action that we take very seriously and fight to preserve, to evolve, and a model in the schools that we visited. In some days we do well; other days I don’t understand it well at all. We are still working on it.
These days, the question most commonly asked is “how does it feel to see your book come to life?”
This week, it feels a bit like a prophecy. But, of course, even when we were writing, we did not expect that he would instantly become historical fiction. It has been jarring and devastating, but not entirely surprising. In many of the schools that we visited during our trip, the students asked if we’d based the book on an incident that took place in the school, in their city. If you’ve been paying attention, the events described in the book, they have been happening for decades. What feels different now is the scale and passion of the global response. People are coming together in a way that feels full of energy.
It seems that perhaps, finally, we are living a moment in which this country could take advantage of not only the most painful of conversations, but also to move forward with a more unified front in a phase of real change. The white community has a lot of truth to do and even more atoning to the Black community. We don’t want to go back to normal; we want to move forward with intention. Frankly, we don’t know exactly what comes next. But we know that our friendship comes first and we have to move forward.
Image source: Photos courtesy Sourcebooks
